Each time that you begin a new job, move to a new location, or simply feel the need to branch out in your social life, you will need to use the important skills and subtleties involved in fostering new relationships. You won’t want to become best friends with every person you encounter, of course. But a friendly rapport with the people around you makes and environment more relaxed. When you build relationships not enemies, you are more likely to have people to turn to if you need help. Whether you are working on a new project on the job, or painting your house, it is always useful to have people around that can help you. Here are some pointers for how to do that.
Learning names.
Names are extremely important to the development of a relationship. Although it is certainly possible to have a friendly rapport with someone whose name you do not know, names make the relationship much more personal. When you meet someone, introduce yourself by name and ask them what their name is. I always have trouble remembering a name when I initially learn it, so I try to repeat it three or four times, either in my head or in conversation. I try to mention that person’s name a few times afterward, and then greet them by name.
Show Interest
Let the person know that you are interested in what they do in other areas of life. If they are your coworker, find out about their home life. If they are a neighbor, ask what they do for a job or for recreation. Do not go overboard with your inquisitiveness, and this often comes off as nosy, creepy, or fake. Just let them know that you have a healthy interest in getting to know them.
Tell Them About Yourself
All conversations have a natural flow, and so when someone tells you about themselves, you’ll probably be naturally inclined to talk about yourself as well. If you and the person you are talking with share the love of a certain interest or activity, you may become friends quickly. Make sure that you are aware of their feelings about the conversation and that you follow their cues, as well. Don’t share too much information about yourself right up front. It’s fine if they know you love ice-skating, but they don’t need to know about your athlete’s foot just yet.
Keep It Going
After you have made someone’s acquaintance, make sure that you follow up with them. The next time you see them, say hello, and inquire about something that you talked about in your previous conversation. Build a consistently friendly rapport. If, after a few conversations, you genuinely like the person and they seem to like you, consider asking them to go to lunch or to do something else social. Make sure this is genuine, though. Lots of people have strong radar for people who are not genuine or who have ulterior motives.
You do not have to be best friends with everyone, or to be social with everyone. Some relationships are simply cordial. There are people that you greet on a daily basis and never have a long conversation with. But these friendly greetings in themselves constitute a relationship, and can help you in your goal to build relationships not enemies.
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